Food Assault

Amanda and I were discussing this the other day after the radio station I listen to brought it up one morning. How many times have you been trying to watch what you eat or you're just plain old not hungry and someone tries to force you to eat something? The donuts that get shoved in your face ten times at the office or a family member harassing you when you pass on dessert at the dinner table. The worst part is the offending individual usually knows damn well you don't want to eat whatever they're offering, and instead of supporting you in your healthy choices they try their best to sabotage your efforts.

I hear it all the time when talking with others about my meal plan. Yeah, it's different. Eating fish some days at ten in the morning isn't for everyone, I get it. It kills me when people ask what I can/can't eat and they stare at me like some sort of science project. That's usually followed up with 'Ugh that sounds awful, I would DIE without bread'. Really? Cause I would die with a fat ass like yours, not to mention that your swollen, clogged arteries will ACTUALLY kill you. I'll take my 10 am tilapia, thanks.

It's never the health conscious individual that gives you a hard time about your food choices. It's usually the person who lives a relatively unhealthy lifestyle and who isn't happy with themselves. We don't like seeing other people battle the wars we've lost and win. It's an unpleasant feeling to try and try again to lose weight and then see your friend drop 100 lbs, trust me I've been there. It's a nasty little reminder that all your excuses were bullpoop and the evidence is right there in front of you. Your friend probably did it with less money, more kids and more obstacles than you have just to rub it in.

Amanda and I have created an ingenious strategy to deal with people who repeatedly assault you with food. The next time a repeat food offender wanders your way with a box of cheap chocolate, stare at the box wide eyed and horrified, 'You're actually eating that? Refined sugar is poison! You are POISONING yourself to DEATH!!'. Grab the box of chocolates and throw them in the garbage. 'Phew' you tell them 'That was a close one, you can thank me later'.

After pitching a few birthday cakes, croissants, and tubs of candy in the garbage, people will probably leave you alone, more out of fear for their treats than anything. The next time someone says 'You're too skinny, have a few of these' say 'You're too fat, maybe you should have less of those'. If it's inappropriate to discuss someones weight it's inappropriate, regardless of what the scale says.

I can understand forcing your three year old to eat a few more carrots, but trying to force grown people to eat anything is positively ridiculous. I'm a grown woman, if I wanted a frigging Timbit I would have bought some on my way to work. I appreciate the gesture but no means no. Food assault is wrong and I don't have to take it.

Meg