The Beginning - Meg's Story

So here's the thing. I fully expect to get some negative feedback about the title of this blog and our little experiment in respect to the 'fat asses' portion. Maybe a few people out there would look at Amanda and myself and judge that we don't fall under the 'fat ass' category. They're right. We don't... now. You see you are all joining us midpoint through our journey. At my heaviest I weighed just over 200 pounds, that was about five years ago and I would show you a picture but all photographic evidence of this era has been destroyed. Since deciding to lose the weight I have tried a few different diets and exercise programs with pretty good success, I've been pregnant and lost the baby weight, and now here I am. I'm no stranger to the painful struggle of weight gain and the relentless cycle of trying to lose it. I can remember being over weight from as early as elementary school, couple that with being a strange kid and let's just say I'm no stranger to bullying.

Until my early twenties I just accepted the fact that I was chubby. It was in my 'genes', I was 'built that way' blah blah blah you get the picture. Excuses man, I was good at them! I had never stepped on a scale in my life as a way of maintaining my excellent denial until one day I took control and hopped on. That number scared the absolute s*#t right out of me, I expected big numbers but I wasn't anticipating one that started with a two. Since then I have starved, low carbed, paleo'd, and exercised my way to my current weight of 165. It has been one hell of a journey. During this process I've lost relationships and made some, lost sight of who I was and gained a better understanding of who I wanted to be. My life was heading in a direction I thought I wanted it to go and then I abruptly reversed it and set off into new territory. This unraveling of my old self was a very painful and memorable transformation, the old me died and burst into flames, and from the ashes rose the phoenix of my current self.

The reason I am doing this is simple. My spirit and psyche have gone through a life altering adjustment on the trajectory to happiness, and my body needs to get the hell on board. I want my outside to reflect the strength and confidence that I feel on the inside; right now I feel like a pair of Tiffany earrings in a brown paper bag. For every pound that I lose I'll let go of every bully that teased me, let go every moment of self doubt, release my personal judgement and shame. I'm going to sweat off every bit of negativity I have ever felt or that's ever been thrown at me and become the person I was always meant to be, the best version of myself I can put out there.

It's time to take control and flip a big middle finger to every piece of negative bulls#%t I've exposed myself to. There are going to be days that I hate myself for this, but I'd rather hate myself for trying to do better than sell myself short for one more second.

Welcome aboard the SS Focused Bitch, destination WBFF baby.