I was doing some thinking this morning about the root of our problem, the problem being obesity. Nations are calling it an epidemic, and it is. More and more people are crossing over thresholds of unhealthiness never seen before in the modern world, and even scarier is that many of those people are children. So why? Why after hundreds of thousands of years of human evolution is our lifestyle becoming so detrimental to our physical health?
Our food industry should be centred around a few core principles; ethics, quality, and nutrition. Makes sense right? We want to eat food that is of a high standard, that was obtained fairly and ethically, and is high in nutritive properties. The unfortunate reality is that the food industry only has two core principles that are in direct opposition of the ideal; profit and convenience.
Think about the average run of the mill grocery store. Think about the products on the shelves and the percentage of those products that contain the same or similar ingredients. Almost every single product on the centre aisles contain a wheat, soy, or corn product. Now why is that a problem? Well consider what we would encounter in a wild or hunter-gatherer environment before the dawn of agriculture. We would consume very little, and in some regions of the world, absolutely no grains whatsoever. Furthermore, the grain we consume today is not the grain of yesteryear. Almost all of them have been bred, hybridized, or genetically modified in some way, shape, or form. Why are grains so widely used and manufactured? Is it because they're good for us or mandatory in our diet in some way as the industry would have us believe? Nope. They're cheap to make and highly profitable. Corn production in the USA is subsidized to the point that growers have little to no production costs; still wonder why high fructose corn syrup is now the go-to sweetener for many companies?
The other problem is sugar. In a natural environment we would encounter very little that we would consider to have a 'sweet' flavour. Berries and other occasional fruit maybe, depending on where you lived. Now sugar is a very bio-available easily digestible carbohydrate. What that means is that your body receives fuel from it's consumption very quickly, and because our bodies are designed for survival it makes sense that we would be programmed to obtain the most convenient source of fuel. If you happened upon a field of blueberries it would make sense that your brain would tell you to eat them, and then eat some more, and then some more. Enter the modern grocery store. The minute you walk in the door you are bombarded with sugar. It is in a huge variety of products from potato chips, to tomato sauce, candy, chocolate, and processed meat products. Your natural brain is telling you to eat sweet, couple that with the high levels of insulin coursing through our veins due to unnaturally high carbohydrate diets and you have an almost impossibility that people can resist the temptation.
So we have a food industry directly opposed to what should be important principles, and abundance of grains and manufactured products that our bodies aren't used to consuming, and an overwhelming amount of sugar in our food products and you have our current recipe for disaster. Would people still be overweight if you resolved the above issues? Sure, but I think that the vast majority of obese and overweight people are struggling the most with what I've referred to in this post.
When you go to the store, try to think about your natural hunter-gathering self. What percentages would your diet be comprised of if you were primal man? How many grains? How much protein? And if it isn't natural, don't eat it. If you're looking for a way to clean up your diet without over complicating things or calorie counting, start there. Whole, natural foods are quite possibly the solution to the ever mounting problem; why are we all so fat and unhealthy?
Friday, September 14, 2012
Monday, July 23, 2012
The Big Show
As we got closer to our competition I have to say my nerves really got the best of me. Honestly my biggest concern was that I was going to stick out like a sore thumb. The thought of everyone wondering what the hell I was doing there was enough to make me want to throw up. Not a great feeling. I knew that I was going to do the show no matter what, and the body I had now was what was going up on stage. Nothing to do about it at that point other than practise my posing and hope for the best.
Well I have to say that my first impression of the WBFF show was that the competitors were amazing. The girls were incredibly friendly, complimentary, helpful, and kind. I am pretty adept at picking up on others energy and I have to say that every girl in there was nothing but positive. Although it was a long day, we had a lot of fun back stage getting to know each other and ended up having a great time.
The first moment I stepped on stage was scary. You are trying to focus on so many things at the same time; walking, smiling, keeping your core engaged, posing. My mind went immediately blank for a few moments and then I got my act together, but let me tell you I was extremely grateful that the prejuging show doesn't tend to draw much of an audience. At first I thought the prejudging would be redundant, but it ended up being an excellent practise run for the big show that evening. You work out all of your nervousness in the morning so that by the time you step out on stage that night, you feel tremendously more confident.
Being on stage is a lot of fun. Nerve racking, but fun. Trying to keep your muscles engaged and posing over and over again is definitely a workout all by itself, not to mention walking in those shoes for hours! Let me tell you I didn't see my ankles for a few days afterwards, the swelling reminded me of what my legs looked like during pregnancy.
The best part of the WBFF show was the atmosphere. No one had an attitude about them, everyone was friendly and wished the best for their competitors. I honestly can say that I don't think many of the girls there even care where they placed, it was all about the experience. It was a show celebrating the accomplishments of fitness minded individuals regardless of what stage they were at in their training. Some girls were magazine ready, others had just started out. The point is it didn't matter. We all had our different reasons for being there and had an intimate understanding and respect for the other athletes and what they'd accomplished.
When the show was over it was definitely an emotional moment. It was the end of a new beginning, and the beginning of a new journey. I got to share it with my training partner and friend, Bre, who has shared in the struggles of competition prep and who has been by my side every step of the way. The show ending felt very similar to how you feel at the end of your wedding day; happy to be starting a new chapter and happy the hard work and planning is over, but a little sad that the excitement and anticipation of your big day is gone.
The most revealing part of this experience for me was seeing the pictures after the show. I was honestly dreading the WBFF stage pictures. I was expecting to be devastated as I compared myself directly standing next to some of the incredible women I shared the stage with. When the pictures were posted, I cried. I didn't stand out. I didn't look strange up there next to all that beauty. I looked just like everyone else. It was a feeling I'll never forget. I came face to face with the reality that I was no longer striving to have a great body, I had one. Sure I want to improve even further and take my physique to the next level, but I am pretty happy with how far I've come in just six short months.
The competition, our photo shoot, even our Facebook page, has become a celebration and commemoration of the triumph and struggle to change our lives. We have accomplished much but it's just the beginning. The end of the competition marks the start of a new chapter of our fitness, who knows what the next year will bring.
To all of you that have shared in our journey, thank you.
Meg
Well I have to say that my first impression of the WBFF show was that the competitors were amazing. The girls were incredibly friendly, complimentary, helpful, and kind. I am pretty adept at picking up on others energy and I have to say that every girl in there was nothing but positive. Although it was a long day, we had a lot of fun back stage getting to know each other and ended up having a great time.
The first moment I stepped on stage was scary. You are trying to focus on so many things at the same time; walking, smiling, keeping your core engaged, posing. My mind went immediately blank for a few moments and then I got my act together, but let me tell you I was extremely grateful that the prejuging show doesn't tend to draw much of an audience. At first I thought the prejudging would be redundant, but it ended up being an excellent practise run for the big show that evening. You work out all of your nervousness in the morning so that by the time you step out on stage that night, you feel tremendously more confident.
Being on stage is a lot of fun. Nerve racking, but fun. Trying to keep your muscles engaged and posing over and over again is definitely a workout all by itself, not to mention walking in those shoes for hours! Let me tell you I didn't see my ankles for a few days afterwards, the swelling reminded me of what my legs looked like during pregnancy.
The best part of the WBFF show was the atmosphere. No one had an attitude about them, everyone was friendly and wished the best for their competitors. I honestly can say that I don't think many of the girls there even care where they placed, it was all about the experience. It was a show celebrating the accomplishments of fitness minded individuals regardless of what stage they were at in their training. Some girls were magazine ready, others had just started out. The point is it didn't matter. We all had our different reasons for being there and had an intimate understanding and respect for the other athletes and what they'd accomplished.
When the show was over it was definitely an emotional moment. It was the end of a new beginning, and the beginning of a new journey. I got to share it with my training partner and friend, Bre, who has shared in the struggles of competition prep and who has been by my side every step of the way. The show ending felt very similar to how you feel at the end of your wedding day; happy to be starting a new chapter and happy the hard work and planning is over, but a little sad that the excitement and anticipation of your big day is gone.
The most revealing part of this experience for me was seeing the pictures after the show. I was honestly dreading the WBFF stage pictures. I was expecting to be devastated as I compared myself directly standing next to some of the incredible women I shared the stage with. When the pictures were posted, I cried. I didn't stand out. I didn't look strange up there next to all that beauty. I looked just like everyone else. It was a feeling I'll never forget. I came face to face with the reality that I was no longer striving to have a great body, I had one. Sure I want to improve even further and take my physique to the next level, but I am pretty happy with how far I've come in just six short months.
The competition, our photo shoot, even our Facebook page, has become a celebration and commemoration of the triumph and struggle to change our lives. We have accomplished much but it's just the beginning. The end of the competition marks the start of a new chapter of our fitness, who knows what the next year will bring.
To all of you that have shared in our journey, thank you.
Meg
On Happiness
It's a curious thing, happiness. Every goal we pursue in life, whether it's for money, philanthropy, relationships, or material possessions, it all has the same motivation; happiness. We want to create and maintain the highest level of happiness possible for ourselves; some believe that may be through helping others, some believe that's achieved by creating material wealth, others may equate happiness with the state of their personal relationships.
We all have a vision for our lives that we think is synonymous with happiness; that ultimate reality in which all of our dreams have come true. The difficult part about it is that much of what we deem worthy of creating happiness comes from other people and outside sources, this means that our happiness is conditional. It also means that unless certain circumstances arise and particular individuals cooperate, we may never achieve our perceived ideal of happiness. We spend our entire lives in pursuit of happiness, some of us find it along the way, others have it and then lose it, some people never find it at all. It doesn't seem fair. Certain individuals seem to get a disproportionate advantage over others; money comes easily to them or they seem to be lucky in love, whereas others suffer disappointment after disappointment.
What I want to tell you about happiness is something that has changed my life dramatically. It's a perception and attitude that guarantees your happiness regardless of what circumstance or obstacle comes your way. The secret is wholeness as an individual. The secret is not depending on others and outside influences to create or destroy happiness for you, it's creating the happiness within yourself so that regardless of what happens, happiness is there.
Creating happiness within yourself isn't conditional. There are many situations that would challenge this happiness to it's core; the death of a loved one or complete financial ruin. It wouldn't be easy to find happiness after a tragic event, no one said it would be easy, but we can find peace in the knowledge that even in tragedy there are lessons and points to be made. We are all part of the grand design; nothing is meaningless.
I liken it to viewing your life as a boat in the ocean. Your job throughout life is to build your boat in to an impenetrable ship; unsinkable even in the most devastating of storms. If your ship becomes attached to another ship and dependent on it's performance to stay afloat, what happens if that ship leaves? Become fearlessly complete. Know that each and every event and person in your life has significant meaning. Becoming a resilient and happy individual is a skill that comes with practise, not an ability only a few are born with.
Your life is like a handful of sand, the tighter your grip the faster it slips through your fingers. Hold your life in your hands with open palms. Accept all that comes your way with the strength and knowledge that you are destined for happiness and to achieve great things. When you make the decision to be happy regardless of what life brings your way, you create joy in a form that can not be destroyed. Be joyful. Be grateful. Love your life in whatever form it takes. Happiness that comes from within is an impenetrable fortress, build it and forever reap the rewards.
Meg
We all have a vision for our lives that we think is synonymous with happiness; that ultimate reality in which all of our dreams have come true. The difficult part about it is that much of what we deem worthy of creating happiness comes from other people and outside sources, this means that our happiness is conditional. It also means that unless certain circumstances arise and particular individuals cooperate, we may never achieve our perceived ideal of happiness. We spend our entire lives in pursuit of happiness, some of us find it along the way, others have it and then lose it, some people never find it at all. It doesn't seem fair. Certain individuals seem to get a disproportionate advantage over others; money comes easily to them or they seem to be lucky in love, whereas others suffer disappointment after disappointment.
What I want to tell you about happiness is something that has changed my life dramatically. It's a perception and attitude that guarantees your happiness regardless of what circumstance or obstacle comes your way. The secret is wholeness as an individual. The secret is not depending on others and outside influences to create or destroy happiness for you, it's creating the happiness within yourself so that regardless of what happens, happiness is there.
Creating happiness within yourself isn't conditional. There are many situations that would challenge this happiness to it's core; the death of a loved one or complete financial ruin. It wouldn't be easy to find happiness after a tragic event, no one said it would be easy, but we can find peace in the knowledge that even in tragedy there are lessons and points to be made. We are all part of the grand design; nothing is meaningless.
I liken it to viewing your life as a boat in the ocean. Your job throughout life is to build your boat in to an impenetrable ship; unsinkable even in the most devastating of storms. If your ship becomes attached to another ship and dependent on it's performance to stay afloat, what happens if that ship leaves? Become fearlessly complete. Know that each and every event and person in your life has significant meaning. Becoming a resilient and happy individual is a skill that comes with practise, not an ability only a few are born with.
Your life is like a handful of sand, the tighter your grip the faster it slips through your fingers. Hold your life in your hands with open palms. Accept all that comes your way with the strength and knowledge that you are destined for happiness and to achieve great things. When you make the decision to be happy regardless of what life brings your way, you create joy in a form that can not be destroyed. Be joyful. Be grateful. Love your life in whatever form it takes. Happiness that comes from within is an impenetrable fortress, build it and forever reap the rewards.
Meg
Monday, June 25, 2012
The Girl in the Mirror
Something very strange occurred to me the other day while I was watching one of our posing videos. I'm not sure about everyone else but in previous history, the person I saw every day in the mirror was definitely not the person I saw in pictures and videos. It amazed me how often I could feel great about the way I looked or the outfit I was wearing only to be horrified a few hours later when someone snapped a pic.
I DREADED Facebook pictures. As soon as someone would tag a photo of me I'd cringe and hope that it wasn't terrible. Most of them, inevitable, were definitely terrible. I hated pictures. Every event that I attended had lots of pictures of my husband and my son, but rarely of me. Seeing a bad picture was like bursting a little optimistic bubble in my mind; if I didn't see any pictures of how I looked I could keep telling myself that I looked great. I could keep on pretending that the person I saw in the mirror was one and the same with the person that everyone else saw.
I honestly believe that when we look in the mirror, we see what our soul reflects. If you're a beautiful soul and person you will see that beauty in the mirror. The problem is that inner beauty doesn't always translate into outer beauty, and the unfortunate reality of photographs is that they only show what's on the outside. It's amazing what the mind can do with an image, ask anyone that's struggled with an eating disorder or body dismorphic disorder. What they see in the mirror is certainly not what the world sees, and that disparity between the two can cause a tremendous amount of anxiety and despair.
What happened while I was watching that video is that I realized I recognized that person as ME. It wasn't a fat version of myself, which is what I'd always seen in pictures before. There was no cringe or wince at how my body looked or the facial expression I was making. It was just me; the me that I saw in the mirror every day was finally the me I was looking at on my screen. It was so profound to me that I would never again have to un-tag myself from a Facebook photo, that I could happily jump in a picture with my friends and not be afraid of looking bigger than everyone else in the photo. When I look in the mirror now I realize that this is what everyone else sees too, my inner beauty is on the outside.
Nothing can explain the way that feels. When people see me now I know that they see me for who I really am, not a fit girl stuck in a fat girls body. I don't plead them with my eyes to talk to me before they judge me. I am who I am meant to be, inside and out, and being confident with that knowledge is absolutely priceless. If for no other reason, keep going towards your fitness goals for that purpose alone. When you achieve it it's like two pieces of a puzzle finally coming together, a synergy like nothing else I've ever felt. I know that each of you can experience this for yourselves, the world is waiting to see the real you, don't keep us waiting. Your inner beauty is too breathtaking to be kept inside any longer.
Meg
I DREADED Facebook pictures. As soon as someone would tag a photo of me I'd cringe and hope that it wasn't terrible. Most of them, inevitable, were definitely terrible. I hated pictures. Every event that I attended had lots of pictures of my husband and my son, but rarely of me. Seeing a bad picture was like bursting a little optimistic bubble in my mind; if I didn't see any pictures of how I looked I could keep telling myself that I looked great. I could keep on pretending that the person I saw in the mirror was one and the same with the person that everyone else saw.
I honestly believe that when we look in the mirror, we see what our soul reflects. If you're a beautiful soul and person you will see that beauty in the mirror. The problem is that inner beauty doesn't always translate into outer beauty, and the unfortunate reality of photographs is that they only show what's on the outside. It's amazing what the mind can do with an image, ask anyone that's struggled with an eating disorder or body dismorphic disorder. What they see in the mirror is certainly not what the world sees, and that disparity between the two can cause a tremendous amount of anxiety and despair.
What happened while I was watching that video is that I realized I recognized that person as ME. It wasn't a fat version of myself, which is what I'd always seen in pictures before. There was no cringe or wince at how my body looked or the facial expression I was making. It was just me; the me that I saw in the mirror every day was finally the me I was looking at on my screen. It was so profound to me that I would never again have to un-tag myself from a Facebook photo, that I could happily jump in a picture with my friends and not be afraid of looking bigger than everyone else in the photo. When I look in the mirror now I realize that this is what everyone else sees too, my inner beauty is on the outside.
Nothing can explain the way that feels. When people see me now I know that they see me for who I really am, not a fit girl stuck in a fat girls body. I don't plead them with my eyes to talk to me before they judge me. I am who I am meant to be, inside and out, and being confident with that knowledge is absolutely priceless. If for no other reason, keep going towards your fitness goals for that purpose alone. When you achieve it it's like two pieces of a puzzle finally coming together, a synergy like nothing else I've ever felt. I know that each of you can experience this for yourselves, the world is waiting to see the real you, don't keep us waiting. Your inner beauty is too breathtaking to be kept inside any longer.
Meg
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Fight Fat, and Win
I am officially declaring a victory over being fat. Our show is still three weeks away but I truly feel as if I now no longer fit in the 'fat' category and it feels fucking amazing. I remember vividly being a young girl and being teased about my weight. Being self conscious and unhappy about my appearance is a monkey I will HAPPILY throw off of my back, and run over, with a bulldozer.
The difference between this and every other weight loss attempt before this is that I have kept it up for six months and persevered long enough to create a nice little lifestyle for myself. I didn't have six months of perfection but I had half a year of consistency, THAT'S the key right there. I've been able to adhere to very strict diets for a few weeks or months before but as soon as I had a bad weekend I was right back at square one again, eating with reckless abandon and sitting on my ass. Now that I know what it feels like to work hard enough to afford some excellent eating here and there, I appreciate it so much more. I love my strange little eating routine because it makes deviating from it that much sweeter.
I don't feel deprived. I can honestly say that I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything. Sure contest prep is much more strict than what I'll usually stick to, but it's only temporary. The thought of expanding my diet to incorporate some of my favorite foods again when I'm done is really motivating. Eating clean has become sort of a sport, what can you eat that tastes delicious and that also happens to be good for you? How can you squeeze the most volume out of the least amount of calories? I love to eat. That hasn't changed one bit. I've just discovered ways to substitute old stand by's for new ones. Instead of a quick dinner of spaghetti my go-to meal is now some broccoli slaw with a tilapia breast thrown on top, put an egg in there for some extra fat and protein when I'm allowed it and boom, there you have it, a delicious dinner that won't sit in your stomach like a bowling ball for three hours.
Stay with your eating and exercise plan long enough for it to become a habit. You'll get so good at planning your meals and workouts that it really becomes second nature, you'll do it without a second thought. Instead of grabbing a bag of chips. you'll grab a handful of pistachios. Instead of Saturday mornings at the mall you'll spend Saturday mornings at the gym (then hit the mall : ) ). It's not about how hard you can work to lose weight and look great the fastest so you can start eating like shit again. In order to get results you've never had you need to do something you've never done. If you start a new plan with the intention of only doing temporarily or until you've lost the weight you're doing it wrong. Start a plan with the intention of maintaining it for the rest of your life. Do it for your body, your organs, your lifespan, your children, your waistline, your self esteem. You can't keep up your unhealthy lifestyle and expect to look like a supermodel. You just can't, they don't coexist. You can't expect to eat a candy bar every day and still have an ass like J-Lo, and any diet that claims you can is full of shit. There is absolutely no secret or trick to it. Bodies like that take YEARS of training, eating right, and living a balanced lifestyle. If you want to look like that, then you need to do the same.
It's a huge, daunting, monumental undertaking and I know we all get tired of fighting the fight. It's so much easier to stay in our warm, calorie packed, cozy little couch-sitting comfort zones, but I promise you that once you get started you won't want to stop. The feeling of sculpting your body into a work of art is electrifying. You won't get tired of it. You'll never get tired of the compliments, buying size small at your favorite store, or having a guy run into something because he's so distracted by you. You will NEVER get tired of it. Instead of using food to feel good, use THAT to feel good. When you start to struggle just remember what it feels like to check out your developing muscles in the mirror. Take a moment, go there. Savor it and picture yourself with your ideal body ROCKING your life. Imagine never having to worry about looking fat in a picture ever again. You can do this. Declare war with your unhealthy body and start planning your victory party, 'cause it'll happen, the only person who determines if you win or lose.... is you.
Meg
Xoxo
The difference between this and every other weight loss attempt before this is that I have kept it up for six months and persevered long enough to create a nice little lifestyle for myself. I didn't have six months of perfection but I had half a year of consistency, THAT'S the key right there. I've been able to adhere to very strict diets for a few weeks or months before but as soon as I had a bad weekend I was right back at square one again, eating with reckless abandon and sitting on my ass. Now that I know what it feels like to work hard enough to afford some excellent eating here and there, I appreciate it so much more. I love my strange little eating routine because it makes deviating from it that much sweeter.
I don't feel deprived. I can honestly say that I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything. Sure contest prep is much more strict than what I'll usually stick to, but it's only temporary. The thought of expanding my diet to incorporate some of my favorite foods again when I'm done is really motivating. Eating clean has become sort of a sport, what can you eat that tastes delicious and that also happens to be good for you? How can you squeeze the most volume out of the least amount of calories? I love to eat. That hasn't changed one bit. I've just discovered ways to substitute old stand by's for new ones. Instead of a quick dinner of spaghetti my go-to meal is now some broccoli slaw with a tilapia breast thrown on top, put an egg in there for some extra fat and protein when I'm allowed it and boom, there you have it, a delicious dinner that won't sit in your stomach like a bowling ball for three hours.
Stay with your eating and exercise plan long enough for it to become a habit. You'll get so good at planning your meals and workouts that it really becomes second nature, you'll do it without a second thought. Instead of grabbing a bag of chips. you'll grab a handful of pistachios. Instead of Saturday mornings at the mall you'll spend Saturday mornings at the gym (then hit the mall : ) ). It's not about how hard you can work to lose weight and look great the fastest so you can start eating like shit again. In order to get results you've never had you need to do something you've never done. If you start a new plan with the intention of only doing temporarily or until you've lost the weight you're doing it wrong. Start a plan with the intention of maintaining it for the rest of your life. Do it for your body, your organs, your lifespan, your children, your waistline, your self esteem. You can't keep up your unhealthy lifestyle and expect to look like a supermodel. You just can't, they don't coexist. You can't expect to eat a candy bar every day and still have an ass like J-Lo, and any diet that claims you can is full of shit. There is absolutely no secret or trick to it. Bodies like that take YEARS of training, eating right, and living a balanced lifestyle. If you want to look like that, then you need to do the same.
It's a huge, daunting, monumental undertaking and I know we all get tired of fighting the fight. It's so much easier to stay in our warm, calorie packed, cozy little couch-sitting comfort zones, but I promise you that once you get started you won't want to stop. The feeling of sculpting your body into a work of art is electrifying. You won't get tired of it. You'll never get tired of the compliments, buying size small at your favorite store, or having a guy run into something because he's so distracted by you. You will NEVER get tired of it. Instead of using food to feel good, use THAT to feel good. When you start to struggle just remember what it feels like to check out your developing muscles in the mirror. Take a moment, go there. Savor it and picture yourself with your ideal body ROCKING your life. Imagine never having to worry about looking fat in a picture ever again. You can do this. Declare war with your unhealthy body and start planning your victory party, 'cause it'll happen, the only person who determines if you win or lose.... is you.
Meg
Xoxo
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
The Lifestyle
My training partner Bre and I had a conversation the other day that I thought was worth sharing. My entire adult life has been a rollercoaster of eating poorly, partying too much, getting frustrated and fat, swinging to the other extreme, and then dieting and exercising like a crazy person. The entire time I would diet I felt like there would eventually be an 'end'; once I reached my goal weight, once I fit into a particular size, then I would stop dieting and go back to my old habits. We all know the drill. Obviously, the problem with this logic is that as soon as you stop dieting you put the weight back on and you're also faced with a tremendous amount of guilt when you fall off the bandwagon.
The beauty of what we're doing this time around is that it really, truly has become a lifestyle. I know we hear that time and time again, weight loss is about a lifestyle change, and I guess until I experienced it for myself I really didn't know what that meant. The key to this philosophy has been making changes that you can maintain for the rest of your life. If you think eating 800 calories a day of salad and chicken breast is maintainable you are absolutely kidding yourself. If you think forcing yourself to stick to an incredibly strict diet with no room for error or for cheat meals you are setting yourself up for failure. The most important lesson I've taken away from this is that you need to plan for imperfection. Give yourself the opportunity to take a few days off. Allow yourself that cheeseburger or ice cream once in awhile. This isn't about perfection, it's about consistency. As long as you're on plan 80% of the time you will be successful. Once you plan your cheats an incredible thing happens; instead of guilt during and after your meal you feel pleasure! Instead of beating yourself up the entire time you eat you enjoy every single bite.
You need to stick to a plan long enough to adapt it to your lifestyle and to get a rhythm going. If you're not a morning person don't plan your workouts for 5am and expect to be able to do it with any level of consistency. Incorporate workouts that you LIKE doing. There is no one way to get in shape, there are millions of them and you just need to persevere and experiment until you find the right program for you. I promise you, you will reach your stride and find a balance, and once you do it becomes harder to quit than it is to keep going.
If you hate your program, if you detest your diet, you may see short term success but you won't make the changes you need to make significant improvements. Your brain is also a muscle, and it's health and well being are every bit as important as your physical body. If you're suffering through workouts and through your diet regime you aren't on the right plan, take it easy on yourself and love your mind enough to be kind to it. Get yourself on the right program and go after it with all the focus and intensity you are capable of, but remember, this is a marathon, not a sprint.
You CAN do this. It make take months or even years but don't rush it, enjoy the process and experiencing those little successes every day. I can't even begin to tell you what it feels like to jump out of bed in the morning to check myself out in the mirror and to see what muscle I can start to see that day. The rush and the confidence you get from seeing your goals to fruition is like nothing I've ever felt before. I intensely want and hope that each and every one of you get to experience this feeling, and I promise you, with the right attitude and the right program, you are unstoppable.
Meg
xoxo
The beauty of what we're doing this time around is that it really, truly has become a lifestyle. I know we hear that time and time again, weight loss is about a lifestyle change, and I guess until I experienced it for myself I really didn't know what that meant. The key to this philosophy has been making changes that you can maintain for the rest of your life. If you think eating 800 calories a day of salad and chicken breast is maintainable you are absolutely kidding yourself. If you think forcing yourself to stick to an incredibly strict diet with no room for error or for cheat meals you are setting yourself up for failure. The most important lesson I've taken away from this is that you need to plan for imperfection. Give yourself the opportunity to take a few days off. Allow yourself that cheeseburger or ice cream once in awhile. This isn't about perfection, it's about consistency. As long as you're on plan 80% of the time you will be successful. Once you plan your cheats an incredible thing happens; instead of guilt during and after your meal you feel pleasure! Instead of beating yourself up the entire time you eat you enjoy every single bite.
You need to stick to a plan long enough to adapt it to your lifestyle and to get a rhythm going. If you're not a morning person don't plan your workouts for 5am and expect to be able to do it with any level of consistency. Incorporate workouts that you LIKE doing. There is no one way to get in shape, there are millions of them and you just need to persevere and experiment until you find the right program for you. I promise you, you will reach your stride and find a balance, and once you do it becomes harder to quit than it is to keep going.
If you hate your program, if you detest your diet, you may see short term success but you won't make the changes you need to make significant improvements. Your brain is also a muscle, and it's health and well being are every bit as important as your physical body. If you're suffering through workouts and through your diet regime you aren't on the right plan, take it easy on yourself and love your mind enough to be kind to it. Get yourself on the right program and go after it with all the focus and intensity you are capable of, but remember, this is a marathon, not a sprint.
You CAN do this. It make take months or even years but don't rush it, enjoy the process and experiencing those little successes every day. I can't even begin to tell you what it feels like to jump out of bed in the morning to check myself out in the mirror and to see what muscle I can start to see that day. The rush and the confidence you get from seeing your goals to fruition is like nothing I've ever felt before. I intensely want and hope that each and every one of you get to experience this feeling, and I promise you, with the right attitude and the right program, you are unstoppable.
Meg
xoxo
Friday, May 4, 2012
Monday, April 23, 2012
Stage Fright
I made a promise to the followers of this blog and Facebook page that I would be as real and transparent as I can, and I feel like a little dose of reality is needed right now. This last few days has been tough for me, it's been almost four months since I started my journey and I feel like I've made some good progress but then again I feel like I haven't progressed enough. We're 11 weeks out from the WBFF show, and maybe to some that sounds like a lot of time but it frankly scares the shit out of me. I'm absolutely terrified to get up on that stage and make a fool of myself. I know the caliber of competitor that will be there from the pictures and videos I've seen and it's intimidating to say the least. I have absolutely no intentions on winning or even placing, but I am so scared that I'll stick out like a sore thumb.
I have lost weight consistently the whole time and have worked out religiously since I started. I just can't shake the feeling that it's not enough, that I can be doing more. I am having a difficult time figuring out where to draw the line between a healthy amount of dedication and an unhealthy obsession. I know I need to do this the right way; I absolutely refuse to come out on the other side of this competition with a damaged metabolism and a workout schedule and lifestyle that's not maintainable. As I struggle with this conflict I know that I just need to keep going and keep doing exactly what I'm doing, it's worked for me this far and it's something that I can adapt into a comfortable level of maintenance when I'm done. I guess I just need to be ok with being less than perfect when I get on stage if it means that I get there with brain and body intact.
When I started this process I had a few people tell me how unhealthy it was, I didn't understand it then but I understand now how someone could let it get unhealthy. Excercising relentlessly and undereating on a consistent basis for a long time can wreak havoc on your hormones. Some girls even take drugs to speed things up and to get that stage perfect figure.
I will not beat myself up anymore. I am working as hard as I can without entering into the realm of over training or obsessive behaviour. My body is adapting and changing nicely, maybe not as quickly as I would like but this is the way it needs to happen in order to save my sanity and my normal physiological functions. I am making a commitment to myself that I will continue to do this the right way. When I get on stage I want people to see the REAL me. I want to show people what you can attain by making healthy lifestyle changes, and if that isn't what it takes to place high in the competition so fucking be it.
I need to do right by my body, my mind, my trainer, my friends, my family, and every girl that is paying attention to my progress. I am making a promise to stay strong, stay healthy, stay focused, and not give in to the notion that I need to be walking perfection when I get on stage. I refuse to let this be a negative experience for me, I'm going to have fun and enjoy the process and if the judges put me in very last place I'm ok with that. I promise you all that when you see me on stage it will be something that every single one of you can attain. No insane diets, no working out for four hours a day, just a chick that stayed commited to her program and put every ounce of effort into it. I started this with the intention on staying true to myself, it's time I get my head on straight and represent who I am.
See you on stage.
Meg
xoxoxoxo
I have lost weight consistently the whole time and have worked out religiously since I started. I just can't shake the feeling that it's not enough, that I can be doing more. I am having a difficult time figuring out where to draw the line between a healthy amount of dedication and an unhealthy obsession. I know I need to do this the right way; I absolutely refuse to come out on the other side of this competition with a damaged metabolism and a workout schedule and lifestyle that's not maintainable. As I struggle with this conflict I know that I just need to keep going and keep doing exactly what I'm doing, it's worked for me this far and it's something that I can adapt into a comfortable level of maintenance when I'm done. I guess I just need to be ok with being less than perfect when I get on stage if it means that I get there with brain and body intact.
When I started this process I had a few people tell me how unhealthy it was, I didn't understand it then but I understand now how someone could let it get unhealthy. Excercising relentlessly and undereating on a consistent basis for a long time can wreak havoc on your hormones. Some girls even take drugs to speed things up and to get that stage perfect figure.
I will not beat myself up anymore. I am working as hard as I can without entering into the realm of over training or obsessive behaviour. My body is adapting and changing nicely, maybe not as quickly as I would like but this is the way it needs to happen in order to save my sanity and my normal physiological functions. I am making a commitment to myself that I will continue to do this the right way. When I get on stage I want people to see the REAL me. I want to show people what you can attain by making healthy lifestyle changes, and if that isn't what it takes to place high in the competition so fucking be it.
I need to do right by my body, my mind, my trainer, my friends, my family, and every girl that is paying attention to my progress. I am making a promise to stay strong, stay healthy, stay focused, and not give in to the notion that I need to be walking perfection when I get on stage. I refuse to let this be a negative experience for me, I'm going to have fun and enjoy the process and if the judges put me in very last place I'm ok with that. I promise you all that when you see me on stage it will be something that every single one of you can attain. No insane diets, no working out for four hours a day, just a chick that stayed commited to her program and put every ounce of effort into it. I started this with the intention on staying true to myself, it's time I get my head on straight and represent who I am.
See you on stage.
Meg
xoxoxoxo
Friday, April 13, 2012
Love is a Choice
I want to talk a little bit about something I've recently discovered a few years into my marriage. We all have an idea of what love should look like, from the feeling that you get when they walk in the room to the way that you argue. What I've discovered is that love isn't so much a feeling, love is an action. In the beginning it's easy to love someone; when a relationship is new you're infatuated with that person. Everything is exciting and fresh, both of you are trying to please and impress each other so rarely is there a disagreement. This is the famous 'honeymoon' phase where everything is kittens and rainbows and sex in your car. There's nothing like it, I remember getting ready for those first few dates with my husband; getting dressed to the nines and pulling out the nice panties. Who doesn't love new relationships?
As the months and years go by, those heart racing moments grow a little further apart and arguments slowly start to creep in. There are moments when you feel that rush of love-induced euphoria but it's not quite the same. Is that a bad thing? Why is it that when these feelings of intense infatuation start to dwindle many of us jump ship and move on to the next new and exciting partner? I think we can all relate to that pattern, many of us have probably done it once or twice ourselves or at least know someone who does.
The tricky part about the honeymoon phase of a relationship is that it typically lasts two years, and in that two years a lot can happen. People get married in the honeymoon phase (I did), they buy homes, they have children. This can make it particularly difficult to deal with once the love-high wears off and things start to get a little mundane. I honestly think that's one of the major reasons our divorce rate is so high, we're so excited and eager to spend our lives with people we really don't know yet. That and people settle, compromise, and fall into convenient ruts in their relationships, but I digress.
When the honeymoon phase is over, in order to make your relationship successful you need to make conscious decisions to act in a way that reflects your love for that person. Love isn't a feeling that exists without constant care and attention, the minute you stop paying attention to it, it deteriorates and eventually disappears. Love is the little things you do for one another; the favorite candy you pick up at the grocery store, the text message that says 'I love you'. We need to keep our relationships in mind, especially when our lives get busy with children, work, and other endeavors. I think that we all make the mistake of believing that we can go about our lives without maintaining our relationships and they'll just be there when we decide to pay attention to them. The sad reality is by the time you realize your relationship has deteriorated it might be too late to put things back together.
Keep your spouse in your heart and mind at all times, do the littlest things to reflect your feelings for them, even when you don't want to. Take a moment to remind yourself of why you love them and act in a way that lets them know you remember. Your family and your home exist BECAUSE of your love for your partner, you both are the catalyst that started it all. Don't let your relationship fall by the wayside because life gets busy. Your union is the foundation that everything else is built upon, when the foundation starts to crumble everything comes down with it. You are doing your children, yourself, and your family a great disservice by neglecting your relationship. Things won't get better on their own, but they might after you give your spouse the thought and attention that your life partner deserves. Love is an action. Sometimes you need to work harder to maintain it, but the reward is unconditional. People who have successful relationships didn't just happen to find the right mate, they act out of love and work at it every day.
Meg
As the months and years go by, those heart racing moments grow a little further apart and arguments slowly start to creep in. There are moments when you feel that rush of love-induced euphoria but it's not quite the same. Is that a bad thing? Why is it that when these feelings of intense infatuation start to dwindle many of us jump ship and move on to the next new and exciting partner? I think we can all relate to that pattern, many of us have probably done it once or twice ourselves or at least know someone who does.
The tricky part about the honeymoon phase of a relationship is that it typically lasts two years, and in that two years a lot can happen. People get married in the honeymoon phase (I did), they buy homes, they have children. This can make it particularly difficult to deal with once the love-high wears off and things start to get a little mundane. I honestly think that's one of the major reasons our divorce rate is so high, we're so excited and eager to spend our lives with people we really don't know yet. That and people settle, compromise, and fall into convenient ruts in their relationships, but I digress.
When the honeymoon phase is over, in order to make your relationship successful you need to make conscious decisions to act in a way that reflects your love for that person. Love isn't a feeling that exists without constant care and attention, the minute you stop paying attention to it, it deteriorates and eventually disappears. Love is the little things you do for one another; the favorite candy you pick up at the grocery store, the text message that says 'I love you'. We need to keep our relationships in mind, especially when our lives get busy with children, work, and other endeavors. I think that we all make the mistake of believing that we can go about our lives without maintaining our relationships and they'll just be there when we decide to pay attention to them. The sad reality is by the time you realize your relationship has deteriorated it might be too late to put things back together.
Keep your spouse in your heart and mind at all times, do the littlest things to reflect your feelings for them, even when you don't want to. Take a moment to remind yourself of why you love them and act in a way that lets them know you remember. Your family and your home exist BECAUSE of your love for your partner, you both are the catalyst that started it all. Don't let your relationship fall by the wayside because life gets busy. Your union is the foundation that everything else is built upon, when the foundation starts to crumble everything comes down with it. You are doing your children, yourself, and your family a great disservice by neglecting your relationship. Things won't get better on their own, but they might after you give your spouse the thought and attention that your life partner deserves. Love is an action. Sometimes you need to work harder to maintain it, but the reward is unconditional. People who have successful relationships didn't just happen to find the right mate, they act out of love and work at it every day.
Meg
Friday, April 6, 2012
Thursday, March 29, 2012
The Real Secret
I want you to think about something. We’ve all heard of ‘The Secret’ and the power of positive thinking. We know that the mind is a very powerful thing and that it has a tremendous impact on our physical reality. The problem that I’ve always had with the ‘if you believe it, it will happen’ theory is that it’s proven wrong time and time again. Sure there are instances where it definitely happens; you think about creating enough money to renovate your kitchen and you get a nice big tax return that you weren’t expecting, or you concentrate daily on getting a new car and lo and behold you get a raise at work. Those things happen, but how many times have you hoped and begged and pleaded for something and it just didn’t work out? Or what about people who obsess about things? Why don’t the things they obsess about come to fruition? The laws of attraction would indicate that if you truly believe something, it should come to be in your reality, but the truth is that through practical experience we know that doesn’t happen. ‘The Secret’ repeatedly points out that there is no limit to the laws of attraction, but I’m not sure that convincing yourself that your dog will come back to life will make it happen. Unfortunately that issue doesn’t seem to be addressed in any of the positive thinking books that I’ve read, and I find it perplexing that such an obvious flaw in the theory isn’t discussed at all.
A few weeks ago I watched a documentary that changed everything. It was called ‘The Quantum Activist’, and it’s about a very humble and incredible man named Dr. Amit Goswami. Dr. Amit is a quantum physicist, a pioneer in the discovery and interpretation of what reality is on its most basic level, also known as quantum physics. What was so powerful about Dr. Amit’s message is that it explains completely the paradox that I discussed before. Why is it that if we use the principle of the laws of attraction, many of us do not manifest our deepest desires? He points out that if it was really that easy, we’d all be rich and have luxury cars in the driveway; the truth is it’s much deeper and more profound than that.
We are all connected through consciousness. Each of us as an individual has the ability to connect to our universe through the unconscious mind. It is there, in the deepest, most spiritual part of us that the laws of attraction apply. When we want something for the RIGHT reasons, and it benefits us as a whole society, not strictly as an individual; that’s when the magic happens. Who benefits from having a new BMW? Do you want that car for altruistic reasons? Doubtful. Let’s say you want to start a business that helps others in some fashion, I bet you can make it happen, and I bet you can guess why. When we challenge ourselves and take on pursuits that benefit not only us, but those around us, incredible things start to happen. If you make decisions and choose endeavors that benefit you AND others, success is absolutely imminent.
The law of attraction applies to the unconscious world, don’t confuse it with the desires and wants of the ego (our individual self). You can’t wish yourself a Mercedes any more than I can wish myself a winning lottery ticket. Once you get past the superficial desires and start to focus on what really matters for the betterment of society, you will find that you have an unparalleled ability to incite change in the world around you. Even things that outwardly might seem superficial or individual, such as weight loss or business ventures, will ultimately benefit others. Your weight loss might inspire someone who is depressed and overweight to start their own weight loss journey to health and happiness; your business endeavor might focus on helping others reach their goals.
The unconscious mind is an incredible tool, harness its power and learn to make decisions for the greater good and your life will change dramatically. Everywhere we look we see the symptoms of perceived separation from each other. War, death, hatred; all signs that we’re missing the big picture. You and I are one and the same, our unconscious selves are connected in unbelievable ways. Once you figure that out you can transcend the limitations of our physical world. Don’t believe me? Give it a shot if for no other reason than to prove me wrong. Make decisions from a global perspective; make them from love for yourself and those around you and see the possibilities unfold. Love should be your one and only motivation, keep it in your heart always and watch the most beautiful life unfold.
Meg
Friday, March 23, 2012
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Media and Weight Loss
I find that there is a interesting psychological dynamic that many women struggle with when it comes to weight loss. The problem is that many of us are caught between the confidence to be who we are regardless of how much we weigh, and the desire to improve our physical appearance. It’s strange because I feel as if by losing weight and improving the way I look, I’m somehow saying that my previous body when I was twenty or thirty pounds heavier wasn’t ok, and that’s the furthest from the truth. You can be beautiful at any weight, I just made the decision that I can do better for myself. Weight loss isn’t about saying that a certain weight is ‘good’ or ‘bad’, it’s about being the healthiest person you can be. If you’re mentally and physically comfortable at 180 pounds, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. The only person that has to live with yourself is you, and if you feel that that’s your personal best why let anyone else tell you differently?
We are constantly bombarded with contradictory messages in the media. Eat McDonalds; but be skinny. Have a new car, a new house, and ten million credit cards; but don’t be in debt. Have children; but live an exciting, expensive lifestyle. We live in a reactive culture based on instant gratification, go ahead and eat the burger and then buy the diet pills afterwards. We have a tendency to shy away from anything that isn’t instant, it’s human nature to want to best results in the shortest amount of time. Maybe human ‘nature’ isn’t the right word; we’re conditioned to feel that way. We are compelled to live a lifestyle of instant gratification because it fosters a buy or eat first, deal with the consequences later kind of attitude. This sort of superficial motivation benefits one sector and one sector only, and that’s big business. Companies all around the world encourage this sort of behavior because it results in bigger revenues for them. Don’t think for a second that Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig are motivated by an altruistic desire to improve the lives of others, they are businesses, just like Wal-Mart or JC Penny; and they’re here to make money.
There are a few problems with how big business approaches weight loss. The first one being that they employ their instant gratification marketing schemes on the public just like every other industry, but it’s particularly damaging to individuals trying to lose weight. It’s damaging because the reality of weight loss is that there is no quick fix; this billion dollar a year industry likes to tell us otherwise but the truth is that the only way to effectively lose weight and keep it off is through proper diet EDUCATION and exercise. Most of these companies have absolutely no desire to educate consumers about anything, the reason being that they want to keep you dependent on their system or product. It’s in their best interest that you fail! If you lose twenty pounds and then gain it back, chances are you’ll be right back making another product or program purchase to lose it all over again. Do you think they make money off of people who use their product once and then lose all the weight they need to and keep it off? Of course not. Repeat customers are where revenue is generated.
The point is that the media or our culture should never set the benchmark for where you feel comfortable. Society is driven by money, which has nothing to do with reasonable standards, and our culture is rooted in the ideal that what we have is never enough. The truth is that what you are at this very moment is enough; your weight, your car, your clothes, all your worldly possessions. It’s all enough. You need to set the standard for acceptable in your life, and if the standard for yourself is that you’d like to lose a few pounds then so be it, but don’t let anything else make that determination for you. If you’re on a crusade for perfection the sad reality is that you’ll never be happy with yourself or your body. If you’re unhappy at 200 pounds chances are you’ll be unhappy at 150 pounds too; the confidence that comes from weight loss has very little to do with the results in the mirror. The confidence is gained through setting a goal and accomplishing it; truly, that is the only thing that can build self esteem.
I encourage you to set your own standard for happiness, weight loss included. There is absolutely nothing wrong with pursuing a goal or improving yourself, just make sure that what you’re striving to accomplish is, in fact, an improvement. Set goals that are intrinsic in nature, gauge your feelings instead of possessions or appearances because a standard that’s material in nature is subject to outside influences. Be your own yardstick for success, it’s the only measure that really matters.
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Insecurity
So here's a little known fact of awesomeness about getting in shape. You will inevitably become more confident, which has the fringe benefit of you being less insecure about how people feel about you. I think most of us are inherently insecure, especially when it comes to our relationships. Insecurity often goes hand in hand with jealousy; when you feel as if you aren't adequate you immediately become jealous and suspicious of those who seem, in your eyes, to be very adequate.
A good example of this (and I'll use myself here) is when a woman is jealous or overreacts to her partner looking at another woman. I'm not talking about porn or going to the strippers, I just mean a meaningless, didn't-even-think-about-it second look at a girl in the bar. It happens, lets face it. Even the most dedicated and monogamous of men will give a woman a once over now and then, just like women will check out a guy here and there. It's human nature, harmless, right? Wrong. Under normal circumstances it would be harmless, but when you're dating someone that's insecure or you're insecure yourself, a harmless glance can explode into catastrophic proportions. I know, because I've been there. I have definitely been the jealous girlfriend. The one who hated it when her boyfriend went out without her, the one who was constantly checking to make sure he wasn't looking at women on the internet or in magazines, and god forbid he ever went to the strip club, that was relationship ending material right there.
As I've grown and become more comfortable in my own skin I've come to realize that insecurity is really a sign of immaturity, and usually self loathing. Your insecurity creates an insane jealousy for any female that you perceive as a threat, or that you think may be more attractive than you. Insecurity is a relationship killer, it can eat away at you and create a divide between you and your partner. Not even the most loving and compassionate of companion can tolerate a high level of insecurity for too long, unfortunately it usually gets perceived as distrust and suspicion towards your mates fidelity.
As I have come into my own and began to lose the weight and feel better about myself, an interesting thing has happened. My insecurity and jealousy have almost completely vanished. Sure I get a little twinge when my husband mentions some female that I'm not particularly fond of, but it usually flares for a second and dies quickly. When you work hard to look and feel your best you start to realize a few things about yourself, most importantly that you are worthy of love. I know that I'm valuable as a mate and that if my partner ever made the decision to leave or to cheat, that it has absolutely nothing to do with me. You see, part of losing the insecurity is also gaining acceptance; acceptance that if a person in my life makes the decision to not be close to me anymore, I will still be happy and whole as an individual. If he were to make a relationship ending decision, it would be his decision, and in my opinion, his loss.
Because I know that I can thrive on my own, I no longer live in fear of losing my husband to another woman. I know that I offer something unique and that I am beautiful and powerful in my own way, just like you are. If he looks at another woman or makes a comment, it may irk me for a second but the reality is I know that it's ok to appreciate how someone else looks. Hell the last few months I've checked our more girls in bikinis than anyone else on the planet, I am constantly studying physiques and looking for competition ideas. We often lash out at others when we don't feel good about ourselves, and insecurity and jealousy are no different. If you're struggling with these issues, instead of focusing your attention on what your partner is doing I encourage you to look within. I bet you'll find the answer has nothing to do with anyone else but you.
Getting healthy has a lot of benefits, looking better, feeling better, but it also has some significant positive emotional impacts as well. Acknowledging that you have the strength to tackle your most difficult inner demons is an enlightening and empowering experience. Whatever your challenges may be, face them head on and fight them with everything you have. You'll be amazed and surprised at what a difference it can make in many different areas of your life.
Meg
A good example of this (and I'll use myself here) is when a woman is jealous or overreacts to her partner looking at another woman. I'm not talking about porn or going to the strippers, I just mean a meaningless, didn't-even-think-about-it second look at a girl in the bar. It happens, lets face it. Even the most dedicated and monogamous of men will give a woman a once over now and then, just like women will check out a guy here and there. It's human nature, harmless, right? Wrong. Under normal circumstances it would be harmless, but when you're dating someone that's insecure or you're insecure yourself, a harmless glance can explode into catastrophic proportions. I know, because I've been there. I have definitely been the jealous girlfriend. The one who hated it when her boyfriend went out without her, the one who was constantly checking to make sure he wasn't looking at women on the internet or in magazines, and god forbid he ever went to the strip club, that was relationship ending material right there.
As I've grown and become more comfortable in my own skin I've come to realize that insecurity is really a sign of immaturity, and usually self loathing. Your insecurity creates an insane jealousy for any female that you perceive as a threat, or that you think may be more attractive than you. Insecurity is a relationship killer, it can eat away at you and create a divide between you and your partner. Not even the most loving and compassionate of companion can tolerate a high level of insecurity for too long, unfortunately it usually gets perceived as distrust and suspicion towards your mates fidelity.
As I have come into my own and began to lose the weight and feel better about myself, an interesting thing has happened. My insecurity and jealousy have almost completely vanished. Sure I get a little twinge when my husband mentions some female that I'm not particularly fond of, but it usually flares for a second and dies quickly. When you work hard to look and feel your best you start to realize a few things about yourself, most importantly that you are worthy of love. I know that I'm valuable as a mate and that if my partner ever made the decision to leave or to cheat, that it has absolutely nothing to do with me. You see, part of losing the insecurity is also gaining acceptance; acceptance that if a person in my life makes the decision to not be close to me anymore, I will still be happy and whole as an individual. If he were to make a relationship ending decision, it would be his decision, and in my opinion, his loss.
Because I know that I can thrive on my own, I no longer live in fear of losing my husband to another woman. I know that I offer something unique and that I am beautiful and powerful in my own way, just like you are. If he looks at another woman or makes a comment, it may irk me for a second but the reality is I know that it's ok to appreciate how someone else looks. Hell the last few months I've checked our more girls in bikinis than anyone else on the planet, I am constantly studying physiques and looking for competition ideas. We often lash out at others when we don't feel good about ourselves, and insecurity and jealousy are no different. If you're struggling with these issues, instead of focusing your attention on what your partner is doing I encourage you to look within. I bet you'll find the answer has nothing to do with anyone else but you.
Getting healthy has a lot of benefits, looking better, feeling better, but it also has some significant positive emotional impacts as well. Acknowledging that you have the strength to tackle your most difficult inner demons is an enlightening and empowering experience. Whatever your challenges may be, face them head on and fight them with everything you have. You'll be amazed and surprised at what a difference it can make in many different areas of your life.
Meg
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Fate
The subject of fate came up the other day while I was talking to my husband, and I wanted to share some thoughts I have about it. My husband is a staunch believer in fate; that there are events and people that come into your life that are inevitable, regardless of your decisions. I guess I understand this logic to a certain extent, it's nice to think that there are things in your life that will happen or things that won't happen all because of fate. It's comforting to believe that a relationship failed or a person came into your life because of fate; comforting because when you don't have control over something it might make it easier to understand. Fate is this extraneous perpetual force that creates opportunities and brings people together regardless of situations or actions on behalf of the individuals. I can honestly say that I'd like to believe in fate, it would make things, well, simple.
I guess this is the part where I try to explain my unorthodox belief system about our little lives on this planet. Picture it like this; your life is a neutral, straight line when you are born. As you go through life and encounter people and experience events, this line changes direction depending on your decisions. There may be inevitabilities, but only for the particular path that you've chosen. If you decided to become an engineer, it may be an inevitability that you lose your passion and quit your job, but the same inevitability wouldn't apply if you had chosen to be an artist; see what I mean? Your life has an infinite amount of directions it can take, and every thought you have and choice you make changes that direction just a tiny little bit. You may happen upon an opportunity by chance, but if you don't choose to seize that opportunity nothing will come of it. You have the control; you always have the control.
There will be times in your life where you feel like a victim. When you feel as if you have been dealt the worlds worst hand; that life isn't fair and that you can't cope with what has happened. It's true, sometimes things happen to us that we have no control over, but we always have control over how we handle it. You can take the most negative of any situation and turn it into something incredibly positive. It is always darkest right before the dawn; in times of great despair is when we find our true strength and experience the most personal growth. When times are tough you can let it destroy you or you can use it to your advantage; you always have control. You will never know how truly powerful you are until that power is challenged at it's core. Don't live your life as a victim, own and accept the things that have happened to you as life lessons. It all happened for a reason and it made you what you are today. Face tomorrows challenges on your feet and with your arms open, not on your knees with your hands covering your face.
I believe that this world is our education. A university for the soul. We are here to learn, to inspire, to be inspired, and to grow. You have been given the gift of attending the most prestigious of schools, use your time here wisely and remember that no one and no event dictates your life's direction. You are a student and architect of your own destiny; carpe diem.
Meg
I guess this is the part where I try to explain my unorthodox belief system about our little lives on this planet. Picture it like this; your life is a neutral, straight line when you are born. As you go through life and encounter people and experience events, this line changes direction depending on your decisions. There may be inevitabilities, but only for the particular path that you've chosen. If you decided to become an engineer, it may be an inevitability that you lose your passion and quit your job, but the same inevitability wouldn't apply if you had chosen to be an artist; see what I mean? Your life has an infinite amount of directions it can take, and every thought you have and choice you make changes that direction just a tiny little bit. You may happen upon an opportunity by chance, but if you don't choose to seize that opportunity nothing will come of it. You have the control; you always have the control.
There will be times in your life where you feel like a victim. When you feel as if you have been dealt the worlds worst hand; that life isn't fair and that you can't cope with what has happened. It's true, sometimes things happen to us that we have no control over, but we always have control over how we handle it. You can take the most negative of any situation and turn it into something incredibly positive. It is always darkest right before the dawn; in times of great despair is when we find our true strength and experience the most personal growth. When times are tough you can let it destroy you or you can use it to your advantage; you always have control. You will never know how truly powerful you are until that power is challenged at it's core. Don't live your life as a victim, own and accept the things that have happened to you as life lessons. It all happened for a reason and it made you what you are today. Face tomorrows challenges on your feet and with your arms open, not on your knees with your hands covering your face.
I believe that this world is our education. A university for the soul. We are here to learn, to inspire, to be inspired, and to grow. You have been given the gift of attending the most prestigious of schools, use your time here wisely and remember that no one and no event dictates your life's direction. You are a student and architect of your own destiny; carpe diem.
Meg
Monday, February 27, 2012
Weight Loss on the Brain?
Some of (a lot of) your success with any given plan will be your dedication and discipline, but you'll make it a lot easier for yourself to be committed if you are eating things you enjoy and participating in activities you love. Once you start getting comfortable with your plan don't be afraid to change things up, routine is the enemy of progress when it comes to weight loss and muscle building. Your body is incredibly smart and adaptive, it will get used to any diet and exercise plan in a relatively short period of time. The key is to stick with a plan for a few weeks, see how you feel, and make a few changes to shake things up, keep your body guessing and to keep you interested. Believe it or not studies have shown that people who cheat once a week while dieting show greater fat loss results because of the after burn effect of speeding up your metabolism. That one high calorie meal revs up your bodies metabolic rate for a few days after you eat it, making the next few days an excellent opportunity to really get things going. You'll find that when you plan to cheat, you're less likely to binge during regular eating days. When you have a nice big cheeseburger to look forward to on Saturday it makes it a little easier to stick to your diet for one more day; the point is there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. When you diet without cheating for prolonged periods of time you get obsessed with cheating, you can't stop thinking about food and when you finally cave in you feel terrible about your decision and you'll be more apt to keep binging.
The other negative effect extremely strict dieting can have on the body is that your body will adjust to the new lower calorie intake and your weight loss will inevitably plateau. You might think the answer is to even further decrease your intake, but the truth is a bit of an increase for a day or two will get that metabolism fired up again. You don't want to get to a point in your dieting that your body has learned to operate on an extremely low intake; now you're not getting the nutrients your body needs and you're also not losing weight. Sounds like a recipe for giving up if you ask me. The worst part about it is that when people quit dieting while their body is in low-metabolic-rate mode, they typically binge and gain all the weight back and then some due to the fact that their body is now storing the excess calories they would have previously burnt. For example, let's say your diet used to consist of 2000 calories a day, your new diet has you consuming about 1500 calories, you plateaued so you dropped it to 1200 for awhile and then you plateaued again. This time during your plateau you dine at an all-you-can-eat buffet for two weeks straight, now instead of your body using 2000 calories per day like it used to, it now only needs 1200 calories thanks to the lower metabolic rate. Get where I'm going with this? That's a lot of extra calories. Sure your metabolism will speed back up gradually, but not before depositing multiple extra pounds of fat all over your body.
The real, straight up truth about weight loss is that it has nothing to do with what's on the scale; it has to do with what's between your ears. It's so critical for you to find a program that works with your lifestyle, with your taste, and with your particular body type. I've said it before and I'll say it again, this is where finding a fitness professional can really help ease the burden. It can be a difficult road to navigate on your own; you can certainly do it by yourself, just be patient and be willing to experiment until you find the right mix of diet and exercise that works. Don't see weight loss as one-size-fits-all, we are all so unique and our body compositions so vastly different that it just doesn't make sense to do what everyone else is doing. Don't follow the path made by others, set off on your own and leave a trail behind you instead.
On this journey you will learn so much about yourself. Love the fact that tomorrow you won't wake up thirty pounds lighter. Enjoy the process and watching your body change in front of your eyes; savor the experience of working hard and relish the results. It's not the destination that's important, it's the lessons that we learn while trying to get there. There is a beautiful, confident person inside each one of us; take pride in sculpting and creating this new person for the world to see. Sure some days we wish we could close our eyes and it would all be over with, the weight would be off and we could ease up a little; but where's the growth and experience in that? There's no pride in quick fixes. Let your body become a beacon for hard work, perseverance, determination, and drive. Treat it with the same respect that you would treat someone else's body; it's the only one you'll get.
Meg
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Authenticity
Have you ever gone out for dinner, read the menu, decided what you'd really like to order, and then ordered something else because you were afraid the other people at the table might judge you for it? Have you overheard someone talking about a musician you like with distaste, only to agree with them for fear of being ridiculed? I've done it, definitely, more than a few times. It's like for that moment in time the most important thing in the world is just to fit in and to be like everyone else, but why?
Since noticing that I would often hide my true feelings I've tried to make a conscious effort to do the opposite, and the results are pretty interesting. For example, if I hear someone bashing a TV show that I like to watch, instead of agreeing with them, I voice my affinity for it. When I go to a restaurant and decide I want the double deluxe bacon cheeseburger with fries and gravy, I order it, even if everyone else at the table is sharing appetizers. When you start to live authentically the strangest thing happens, the people around you are immediately inspired to also be themselves. I can pretty much guarantee you that when you and your girlfriends sit down at a restaurant and everyone says 'oh I'm not that hungry', SOMEONE (besides you) is starving! When you pipe up that you're ordering an appetizer, main, and extra dessert, there's a girl at the table that is secretly thanking you for speaking up.
There isn't a particular physical trait, outfit, hair color, or ethnicity that's sexier than the other. There is only one universal truth for being sexy, and that's confidence. When you live your authentic self every single day you can't help but be confident, it becomes second nature to just be exactly who you are. You are absolutely not perfect but that in itself is exactly what makes you so unique; your distinct lack of perfection. The way you do your hair, the way you dress, the manner in which you speak is all so exclusively you. Don't water it down or dilute it so that other people find you more palatable or more like everyone else. Uniqueness makes some people uncomfortable, probably because they themselves are living behind a facade and they would appreciate if everyone else would do the same.
Think about the last person you met that was absolutely magnetic and interesting in every way. Chances are they weren't the most beautiful or articulate person you'd ever met, but I bet they were confident. Don't apologize for being you and don't be afraid to show your true colors, be prepared that not everyone will like what you have to offer, and THAT'S OK. We don't like to deal with or face rejection but it's absolutely exhausting to try and be everything to everyone, there will inevitably be a few people that don't appreciate you, but so what? Wouldn't you rather be surrounded by quality individuals who love you for who you are than acquaintances that like you because of who you pretend to be? Life becomes much less difficult when you just are who you are with no regrets.
The next time you grab a shirt off the rack just to put it back because other people might judge you for it, throw everyone else's opinions in the garbage. What do you really think about it? That's all that matters. And that girl behind you? She saw you buy that shirt too and was inspired to try it on. When you live authentically it not only has a positive influence in your life but the people around you will be compelled to do the same. Don't be afraid of who you really are, it would be such a shame if the world didn't get to experience the unique beauty that is so wonderfully and exclusively you.
Meg
xoxo
There isn't a particular physical trait, outfit, hair color, or ethnicity that's sexier than the other. There is only one universal truth for being sexy, and that's confidence. When you live your authentic self every single day you can't help but be confident, it becomes second nature to just be exactly who you are. You are absolutely not perfect but that in itself is exactly what makes you so unique; your distinct lack of perfection. The way you do your hair, the way you dress, the manner in which you speak is all so exclusively you. Don't water it down or dilute it so that other people find you more palatable or more like everyone else. Uniqueness makes some people uncomfortable, probably because they themselves are living behind a facade and they would appreciate if everyone else would do the same.
Think about the last person you met that was absolutely magnetic and interesting in every way. Chances are they weren't the most beautiful or articulate person you'd ever met, but I bet they were confident. Don't apologize for being you and don't be afraid to show your true colors, be prepared that not everyone will like what you have to offer, and THAT'S OK. We don't like to deal with or face rejection but it's absolutely exhausting to try and be everything to everyone, there will inevitably be a few people that don't appreciate you, but so what? Wouldn't you rather be surrounded by quality individuals who love you for who you are than acquaintances that like you because of who you pretend to be? Life becomes much less difficult when you just are who you are with no regrets.
The next time you grab a shirt off the rack just to put it back because other people might judge you for it, throw everyone else's opinions in the garbage. What do you really think about it? That's all that matters. And that girl behind you? She saw you buy that shirt too and was inspired to try it on. When you live authentically it not only has a positive influence in your life but the people around you will be compelled to do the same. Don't be afraid of who you really are, it would be such a shame if the world didn't get to experience the unique beauty that is so wonderfully and exclusively you.
Meg
xoxo
Friday, February 24, 2012
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Dear Bree: The Importance of an Awesome Personal Trainer
I want to take a minute to express my gratitude and appreciation for a person who has taken an active interest in my success, and who has had a huge impact on my life since we met. I met Bree Lind at the beginning of January when Amanda and I decided to start this project, and her enthusiasm to work with us was absolutely contagious. Her positive reaction and affirmation that our goals were achievable gave me the extra push I needed to really take this seriously and to give it 100%. She has gone so far above and beyond the normal scope of practice for a personal trainer; making meal plans, sharing tips and secrets, prepping for competition, answering relentless texts and emails, and checking in on us to make sure we’re adapting and coping as best as possible.
Bree is infectiously positive, I can’t stress enough how vital this has been for my success this far. She has a work load that anyone would find difficult to manage but she always has a smile on her face and isn’t afraid to take on the next challenge. Because her story started out similar to my own just seeing her and what she’s been able to accomplish reminds me that truly, anything is possible.
Any trainer can give you a good workout, that’s what they get paid to do, but there’s a big difference between someone hovering over you and absent mindedly watching you perform an exercise and a trainer who is right there with you counting every rep, spotting you, and pushing you further than you ever thought imaginable. She is upbeat and encouraging but also focused and driven, she knows when and how to push you to your limits the right way. She knows when you have five more reps in you but she also knows when you don’t and when you might really hurt yourself. There are days when you want to cheat and fall off the bandwagon but a stern reminder from her keeps your head in the game and snaps you back to reality.
The world of personal training is insanely competitive, some are in it for the right reasons, some aren’t. Bree has given me something that I never thought I’d have, and that’s the personal power that she has and shares with others. She has given me the confidence to attack this dream with every fiber of my body, and that’s worth more than all the money in the world.
If you haven't had the privelidge of working with Bree or someone like her and you're struggling with your fitness goals, make an investment in yourself and your health and get a few sessions in. It's like walking into a room and never noticing a particular painting on the wall, but once it's pointed out to you you can't stop seeing it. We don't often realize on our own what our true potential is until someone else points it out to us, but once you've tasted it you can't let it go.
Meg
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Your Perfect Self
I want you to do an exercise with me. Get out a piece of paper and draw a picture of yourself, a stick person will do just fine. Underneath that picture write the title ‘My Perfect Self’. Now take a good hard look at that little person and write down the attributes, accomplishments and characteristics of the person you want to be. Keep in mind that they don’t have to be things you don’t have, you may possess many of these traits already. Things to list would be professional goals, fitness goals, personality traits, etc. I’ll start:
My Perfect Self:
- Weighs 135 pounds and has a fit, toned and muscular physique
- Eats a clean, healthy diet
- Spends as much time outdoors as possible
- Engages in daily physical activity
- Gets 8 hours of sleep every night
- Always positive and sees the good in any situation
- Reads books other than trashy celeb mags
- Is actively involved in her sons activities and development
- Is an excellent wife and mother
- Has an ideal balance of work/fun/personal life
- Manages her finances well
- Volunteers and gives generously
- Doesn’t gossip or speak poorly of others
- Motivates and inspires others
- Doesn’t sweat the small stuff
- Is honest with others and true to herself
- Follows through with commitments
- Is an excellent listener and friend
Now the next time you have a problem or issue to deal with, take a look at your perfect little person and ask yourself what they would do in this situation. The most important factor in encouraging positive change in your life is that you consistently strive to do better; if nothing changes, nothing changes. If you live every day the way that the perfect version of yourself would live, pretty soon you become the person you’ve always wanted to be. Have you ever heard the expression ‘don’t dress for the job you have, dress for the job you want to have’? Don’t behave like the person you are now, behave like the person you want to be, and before you know it they’ll be one and the same.
Meg
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Power
Something that I find interesting to observe in people is the ease and willingness at which they give up their own personal power. I see it happen repeatedly in personal and professional settings and I often wonder if they are consciously aware of their actions. What I mean by relinquishing personal power is this; when an individual, let’s say a friend or family member, does something that irritates you, our first instinct is to react negatively using the other party’s actions as an excuse for our reaction. A friend bails on a dinner date or a coworker shows up late; both of those situations could give rise to anger or frustration on our behalf. The interesting part about it is that by constantly being in a state of reaction, we are in fact giving the people we come in contact with power to dictate our emotions. The reality is when someone acts in a way that might be offensive to our sensibilities; we make a choice to let it affect our mood or reaction. Your friend didn’t make you upset by cancelling last minute, you chose to be upset in response to their actions, and just as easily as you can choose to be upset, you can choose not to be.
I find that sometimes we relinquish our personal power to the point that we feel victimized by the people and situations in our lives. When things are constantly going wrong it isn’t cause for us to feel hapless and helpless, it’s an opportunity for self reflection. What part did I have to play in these situations and is there anything I can do to change the outcome or my feelings surrounding the problem? Odds are the answer is that you played a large contributing part on how the situation played out and you in fact had a significant amount of control over what happened. This is especially true when discussing conflicts within a relationship, too many times we react quickly to our partner’s actions only to exacerbate and inflate what could have been a relatively minor confrontation. It’s human nature to feel influenced or pressured into feeling a certain way about how someone treats us, it’s personal evolution when you take back your control and consciously make an effort to react appropriately. Now that’s not to say that there aren’t situations in which a strong negative reaction isn’t appropriate or even warranted, it’s just that more often than not relatively small problems explode into disproportionate catastrophes because of our reactions to someone else’s actions. When something happens we have the choice to let it ruin our day or we can continue to have a good day regardless of what happens, the important part is that we understand and acknowledge that the control always lies within us.
A helpful exercise to gain perspective on a situation, if you’re unsure of how to react, is to observe your life and the issue in third person. For instance, if you’ve gotten into an argument with your partner and things escalated into a knock-down, drag out fight; try to take a step back and analyze the situation from a neutral perspective. What part did you play in fueling the argument? Did you use inflammatory or combative language like sarcasm or swearing? Can you try to see the situation from your partner’s point of view? After examining the events, acknowledge the errors that you made and your contribution to the argument and approach the issue once again. Start off the conversation by openly agreeing that you contributed to the problem and list the mistakes that you made in the heat of the moment; by doing this you break down the barrier that was built during the argument and you immediately decrease defenses. Usually your partner will react by acknowledging their own errors and the healing process can begin.
For the rest of the day, make a conscious effort to gain control over your emotions and how you deal with them. Don’t easily give up your power to the public and the people around you; picture yourself in a neutral, calm, and content state and do your best to stay that way. Always see situations from the perspective of the big picture, the grand scheme of things. When you take a step back you see how truly insignificant these small problems really are, you are better equipped to deal with them as such; a tiny bump on your daily path to happiness. I liken this attitude to the impenetrable feathers of a duck. You can be surrounded by chaos and drama, similar to the way a duck is surrounded by water, but by choosing to maintain your power and remain calm and collected you have the ability to repel its negative effect. Don’t get soaked, weighed down, and trapped in the emotional residue. Rise above it and chose to live a happy, centered, and powerful life.
Meg
xoxo
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